Love is Liberating

"I don't need you to write me a song, I'll write enough for the both of us.

You said you'd walk to Olympia to be with me,

so then I promised to teach our kids how to spell real well.

I want you here for it all,

I know we wont let each other fall"

A little (much needed) wisdom from The Daily Love today:

My interpretation?

People will do what they will do, and it's just not about you.

When you release blame and expectation and instead choose to look inside yourself, then you can simply meet another right where they are. In that, you will be free enough to love them, and free enough to be loved by them.

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”

- Wayne Dyer

I am free and whole enough to have been able to let in the love of a new man in my life...a man that I can trust, and who has proved himself worthy of my love as well. Our plans are big and without fear, and I can't wait for what is to come.

I have an incredible family here that supports my dreams and visions.

And of course there is the Love of the Creator which replenishes and nourishes my spirit unconditionally.

Paris Blues

I'm terribly sad to leave Paris.

I'll write a better conclusion to my life here at some point.

But for now I'm just terribly sad.

A Moral Dilemma.

Last night on my way home after dinner (around midnight) I got a good taste of harassment from a crazy, vulgar Frenchmen.

I sat across from a man on the metro, whose penetrating eyes on my body made his misguidance evident, and within minutes he began to talk "at" me rather than to me, as I was but an object. He said some very inappropriate, crude, insulting, derogatory things to me (insinuating I was the kind of woman that would come home with him, to put it nicely), all of which elicited reactions from the other men on the train. I was grateful for the defense, as I really didn't know how to react. My first feeling was that of sympathy, as this man was clearly not right in the head. But then as he gestured to my exposed shins (I was wearing a just-below-the-knee dress, not at all scandalous) and stated, "C'est une salope," I was filled with the urge to punch him hard in the face, and spit on the ground in front of him. Instead, I alternated between laughing with the other bystanders at his impudence, and giving him stone-cold eyes for his abhorrent behavior.

The disturbing part of this situation was not the insult or debasement I received, nor was it even the disrespect for women in general that this man showed. Rather, it was the moral dilemma I faced afterwards, in trying to decide what would have been the most virtuous way to react. Was it virtuous of me to not really react to the man? Sure, it was safer and empathetic, as he was clearly not right in the head. But it also didn't feel just. I didn't do anything to teach or help the man, or even to simply defend myself against such degradation. I believe anger has its place, and I even think there are times it is important to react to the feeling of anger. But I also know the danger of such reactions, if improper.

Anyone who reads this, I would be really interested in hearing other perspectives on this situation. Please post a comment or contact me in some way :)

Biking in Amsterdam, and some other things...

So I am going to do a little re-cap of the past several weeks...

Three weeks ago I took a 4-day trip to Amsterdam! This city was absolutely amazing; I fell in love. The endless supply of canals make for a breathtaking view, no matter where you are in the city. As a Minnesotan, I of course advocate and love biking (Minneapolis is the number one biking city in the country, after-all; suck it Portland!) and thus loved Amsterdam. Their cycling rates are 10 times higher than those of the United States.

*Side note: I wrote a research paper in a class at UMN about cycling in Europe, and coincidentally focused on Amsterdam. Here is an excerpt from that paper:

"In Amsterdam, some of the reforms the Dutch government made in the 1970s hugely impacted the bike routes in the city. The bike lanes were made larger, nearly two times longer, bringing the total kilometers of bike lanes in Amsterdam to 400km. There are many streets to be found in both Amsterdam and Copenhagen—“bicycle streets”—where cyclists get the right of way and cars are forced to be cautious (Pucher and Buehler 2008, Figure 2). There has also been a major increase in a number of streets which are for bikers only—cars are prohibited from driving on them at all (Pucher and Buehler 2008: 514). Networks of paths have also been created in these cities to steer cyclists away from the busy streets. With this kind of integration, cycling is even more efficient for commuters, and eliminates the issues with congestion."

My good friend Ida and I (who joined me for my adventures in Holland) rented bikes for two days, and were able to see most of the city in that time. I highly recommend this city to anyone travelling through Europe; I found Dutch people to be extremely friendly and helpful, and the acceptance of English-speaking was very welcoming as well. Contrary to popular belief, the city is not defined merely by the Red Light District or the hash-bar Coffee Shops :)

Upon returning to Paris, I had the pleasure of welcoming my newlywed cousin Jesikah and her husband Jon into my home to stay for four days. We had a great time together, and I was glad to be able to show them around Paris. They have been traveling around the world for a 6-month honeymoon (how cool is that?), and wrapped up their travels here with me. We spent a day at Versailles, which I had not done yet. The palace was incredible. It was really interesting to learn about the state of things leading up to the French Revolution, and see first-hand how extravagant the lives were for the royalty, while the rest of the country lived in deep poverty. It was especially interesting to make the comparison to today, and to see how the same issues are still happening. People are richer than ever, and meanwhile people are also suffering more than ever. But I digress....

Jon and Jesikah have mastered site-seeing by this point in their journey, so we were able to see all the most important places very efficiently, leaving plenty of time for mindful conversations, lazy picnics, gooooood wine, and some live music. One day we got bikes and toured the city, and it was not nearly as convenient as cycling through Amsterdam was.

I loved having them here, and it definitely got me excited to see all the other people I love back home!

Early Spring I met a French-woman that asked me to give English lessons to her three children, and last week was my final week teaching, as they are now in Israel for summer holidays. Yet another tough goodbye, because of course I got close to the family over the past few months working for them. Last Thursday I brought the kids to my restaurant so they could practice ordering in English, and then this Monday we had our farewell picnic.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I went to another farewell picnic for my friend Donna (another au pair, from Canada) just outside Paris at Bois de Boulogne, and last night went to the Paris Opera house for a Ballet with my friends from Kiwizine! It was magnificent, and definitely made me miss my days as a ballerina.

Now I have exactly two weeks left here in Paris, and I am really disoriented about the fact that my life here is coming to a close. And on that note, I gotta go spend the little time I have left exploring this vast and intricate city :)

Stay real, and do what you do.

☮

♥ hannah lee

The Men with the Flowers

I have so many things to write about at the moment, but as I was about to start, I was interrupted, so I am not even going to talk about the several subjects I need to touch on (SOON!). As I write this, I am sitting at Culture Rapide (my favorite local, très bohemian cabaret) waiting for the Blues Jam night to start (which has become my Thursday night tradition).

I love this place; I can sit in peace, writing and thinking, without being disturbed by rowdy fellas or obnoxious gals. That being said, there is always the disturbance of the "Flower Men" (not an official title, just what I have labeled them). This disturbance has just happened, but it was welcomed :)

Here in Belleville (the 19th arrondissement of Paris, if you forgot) anytime you go out to eat, you can expect for there to be several men who will enter the restaurant throughout the course of your meal, attempting to sell you flowers. Some of them are très pénible, as in they will just stand in front of you while you try and enjoy your entrée of skewered watermelon, feta and smoked salmon (with a Greek mint sauce), repeatedly asking you if you will buy a flower--yes, this is our entrée (appetizer) this weekend.

Working in a restaurant, I know all the flower men, as they come into my restaurant every night of service. Whenever I'm out-and-about in the neighborhood at other bars and restaurants, I run into them. Tonight I chatted with one of my favorites; he is never annoying, doesn't speak much French or English. In French he knows how to say "How's it going?" and "Is it busy tonight?" and "I will return later." and of course, "You want?" (beckoning to the flowers in his arms). I felt so proud tonight, as he carried on a long conversation in French, using phrases and saying things that he has learned in the last few months. Every Friday I buy a flower from him, to decorate Kiwizine, but when I'm outside the restaurant he always offers me one as a gift. After our chat tonight he gave me a flower, smiling and bowing as he continued on his way, a long night of walking up and down the hilly neighborhood ahead of him.

I sure do love people making an honest living.

Stay real, and do what you do.

☮

♥ hannah lee

The Routine of Clean

Eliminate the clutter

clean up the dirt

vacuum the dust

reorganize...

to

make

room.

Did some much-needed house cleaning today, and realized how symbolic it is of the journey of inner-work!

Stay real, and do what you do.

☮

♥ hannah lee

In All The Secret Places

Hey loves of mine, this entry is just a photo update, nothing more. I realize not everyone I know is on Facebook (Barnabas, your anti-change mentality must end; cave already!) so here are some pictures from recent adventures.

*The lovely Eiffel Tower; never gets old...especially when one has great editing tools!

*I just love this one of Lilia and I walking; taking a pause for a kiss.

*This is my dear friend Ida; this coming Sunday this lovely Norwegian and I will be meeting up in Amsterdam!

*My friend Amélie was kind enough to kidnap me from the city and let me join her family for a day at the sea ♥ How gorgeous is she? She has already birthed two beautiful children, and has her third coming this August. Both births were natural and painless for her (wow!) and she and her husband just published a book on childbirth :)

My kind of powerhouse woman!

*Au bord de la mer (at the seaside).

*This is Ètretat, a city located in the region of Normandy, known especially for these famous falaises (cliffs) from which many famous painters found inspiration (Monet, of course). Très belles!

*Even while sporting my hat, shades and scarf, my skin managed to get its fill of sun.

*It is officially my dream to one day own a little cottage in the hills...

* Such a gift to get out of the hussle-and-bussle of the city.

*This is Donna, an au pair from Canada

*So, for the most part I think that's about it. Last week I had a friend (from my days at Minnesota) who came and stayed with me. We did the classic touristy places (Louvre, Eiffel Tower, etc) and also made our way to several lovely local bars/cabarets where we found some amazing live music.

Yesterday I went to the Musée de l'Orangerie, created to exhibit Monet's Water Lilly paintings. UNBELIEVABLE. Favorite museum by far. With my visa I get in free to all the national museums, so I only had to pay for the audio guide; I was the nerd who took notes the whole time.

Now it's already time for another great weekend of work at the restaurant. My friend Jordan just finished updating the website for Kiwizine, check it out if you like www.kiwizineresto.com .

Here is an amazing video of Lilia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGGmaumIT0U

Here is another one of her freaking out about a balloon. So adorable, she already knows how to entertain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJlpp0lLzpo

Stay real, and do what you do.

☮

♥ hannah lee