She's Just The Sweetest Thing

I noticed my last couple posts were somewhat dark and twisty...maybe not so dark, but a little dreary if nothing else.

I was thinking about how fulfilling my life has been (and continues to be), how much joy I experience daily, and how there is an overflow of love and an abundance of community for me, no matter where I lay my head down on this earth.

How should one person be so fortunate?

All this led me to think about one person. Someone who grew up without getting the support and affirmation that I've always known, but yet turned into the most stable vessel of unconditional love and acceptance that I've ever even heard of. Her big heart beats, and emulates the spirit of God consistently day in and day out, as she serves everyone around her with a joy and willingness that I pray will one day become my own.

Last year she had a moment of crisis, as her life took a change and she found herself questioning her role in the world. She thought about new career options, more schooling; any kind of change. None of it fit though, and for a while she remained restless. As we all knew however, she would soon have something concluded, and our role would simply be to give her the room to move in whatever direction she needed. It was her turn to have room. She had spent the past 25+ years raising a family, our family, putting herself last 110% of the time.

Ma always has that look about her in the morning. It'll be 9 o'clock, I'll be groggily stumbling into the kitchen sniffin' for my french press, and she has already been awake for 4 hours. Normally, you can tell she has taken care of herself

1) spiritually--surrendered her day to the Lord

2) physically--gone to the gym and eaten her daily dose of eggs

3) mentally--done 30 min worth of reading, while thoroughly enjoying her 20oz of coffee

(really, the coffee part could be in all three categories <3>

but throughout the month or so when she was feeling restless and looking for more to do, her face didn't have the same calm about it. Then she hit her moment of enlightenment, realized she had not truly submitted her restlessness and uncertainty over to her Master, and everything changed drastically. Within a couple months, her days were busy from start to finish. Once again, her time became dedicated to the well-being of others, as she went from meeting to meeting counseling other women, giving herself to the world emotionally and physically and spiritually.

I have gotten to have a mother that knows how to love, despite not being taken care of as a child.

I have been raised by a woman that values compassion, forgiveness, and stability--and she has taught me to do the same.

My mother gave up her plans at 24, because she believes in giving your all to whatever you're doing.

She lost her first son, but proceeded to choose to be a mother and a wife. She made herself present, constantly.

She accepted me without hesitation, no matter what terrifyingly stupid choices I was making (am making, will make, etc.).

Ma showed me her unwaivering confidence in my character, which has given me the strength I need to be the woman I'm meant to be for the world.

Maybe it's the fact that soon I'm going to be somewhere quite far for quite a while, or maybe it's just because she is the kind of woman that puts an imprint on your heart. Regardless, my mom has been on my mind a whole lot these days...

I wish the whole world could get enough time for a cup of coffee with that woman, because everyone who sits down with her stands up feeling encouraged, motivated, inspired. She makes new friends feel loved simply by speaking their names, and for all of us who get the privilege of knowing her intimately, we know we have been blessed by the Divine.

Love you ma. More than I can even come close to articulating.